December 16, 1998

Forks in the road of life

Sometimes we make decisions that affect not only our lives, but our children's. My wife Lydia did that in the mid-seventies, because she couldn't figure out how to be more than one person at a time. Older son, Mike, was in Boy Scouts. Older daughter Rena was in Brownies. Younger son, Martin, was due to go into Cub Scouts. Toddler Joan absorbed her time as well.

By then I was busy with the Tribune and Pacifica. Lydia had honed her volunteer skills in the Co-op Nursery School and was deeply involved in the Alternative Class. She was adult in charge of advancement for the Boy Scout troop, and Calendar chairman for the Brownies. When she was told she had to be Den Mother for a pack of Cub Scouts if Martin was to be allowed to join, she balked.

She pointed out she already had two jobs in scouting, with no time to take on a third. She was told the organizations are separate and distinct. The fact she was being over-burdened was not their problem. About this time someone suggested she check out 4H. She learned all three kids could participate and their mother was expected to give only one commitment. Thus began our family's involvement. Lydia eventually became Community Leader, the top adult job in local 4H. 4H changed my children's lives. All four of my kids got deeply involved. They learned much, from how to deal with electricity to tree-planting.

As their 4H years passed, they picked up many leadership skills. They met kids and parents who are friends even today. They participated at County Fair. They helped care for animals. They became friends with 4Hers from all over the Bay Area. Mike planted over 1000 trees at Elkus 4H Ranch south of Half Moon Bay, and won a statewide award that entitled him to a trip to Chicago. It did his self-esteem a world of good.

Rena developed her interests in Recreation, and majored in that field at San Francisco State. Mike got his degree in Wildlife Management at Humboldt State. My three eldest all were county All Stars. All were Camp Directors at the 4H camp on the south coast one year or another. Mike's worked for various parks, from San Pedro Valley Park to the San Jose City Park System. He also is very generous with his volunteer time and skills. Rena's in charge of teen programs for the City of Fremont Recreation Dept.

I'm proud of my kids, but that wouldn't justify a column if I didn't have a point to make. If you have kids in the primary grades, check out 4H. Boys or girls, it may affect their entire future. They can develop skills, leadership, learn responsibility, learn how to begin projects, follow them through. They can win awards that build self-esteem. There's a lot more to 4H than I can explain in one short column, and both parent and child have to be willing to put in energy and time to benefit from what's available. You get out what you put in.

There've been a few problems. Lydia got butted by a ram at Elkus Ranch and spent time in a wheel chair. She and Mike had to spend one late night, about 1 a.m. to 5 a.m. helping a young man butcher his sheep, which had been mutilated by marauding dogs at Pacifica's 4H farm. On balance, I recommend your children travel the 4H road. I hope they benefit as much as my family has.

The fork in the road that took Paul Azevedo to Pacifica 35 years ago has changed his life forever. What life-altering decisions are you making today?