January 17, 2001

An old story revisited

There are only a few advantages to being a packrat. Nevertheless I'm a member of that sordid species. Which is why I recently rediscovered a note I received perhaps a couple of decades in the past from a co-worker. I'll call him Tim because that's not his name. Suffice to say he was a thoughtful, generous, intelligent, gentle and kind man, and an alcoholic. Those first traits don't always go with the last one. I've known, and been the victim of, some pretty mean alcoholics in my time.

Alcoholism continues to be a problem to a lot of people, including a large number in Pacifica. Just the number of local AA meetings demonstrates that. I quote the note extensively because what my friend said was important then, and continues to reverberate these many years later. "Paul: read your column with enjoyment. You've got an interesting mind for absorbing and retaining facts and figures. Got a suggestion for your future use, if it sounds reasonable.

I object to the word "drunks." I object only because the use of the word, if you'll ask around, brings to mind an older man, unshaven, wearing an Army overcoat, bouncing off the walls near 3rd and Market. Or laying in the gutter on 3rd or Market. Whatever... I object because only 3 to 5 percent of the alcoholics in this country fit the common mental picture conjured up by the word 'drunk.'

More than 95 percent of the alcoholics in the county of SF, for example, are married, have children, own a car, own a house, work regularly and successfully at a job, and have not thought about buying a surplus Army overcoat ... yet.

...the single greatest problem in assisting ... alcoholics is for them to recognize they are alcoholics. It's difficult enough to break through those over-inflated egos to the point where a man or woman can identify with the disease of alcoholism.

That 'drunk' label is a killer, literally. I've seen a goodly number of folks die rather than accept a fact which has been distorted by attaching ugly labels to it.

The name of the game in saving lives is to make it as easy as possible for the guy with the problem to get help. First he's got to know he's got it. Tim."

(Some alcoholics, my friend continued, drink only periodically, perhaps twice a year.)

I find it sobering to be reminded that the way I use words might change the lives of some Pacifica citizens, including some folks I know and respect a great deal. In our concern with that sub-category of alcoholic who drinks and drives, we must be careful not to overlook the alcoholic whose life's pattern avoids that particular serious consequence.

Drinking yourself into a stupor while at home is better than driving yourself home from any bar, but if you do it regularly, it will still shorten your life, lose you the respect of friends and family, and cause them, and you, grief. It may also lower the psychological barriers needed to dissuade you from abusing those closest to you.

If you think you might have an alcoholic problem, there's lots of help, right here in Pacifica. Check the Chamber of Commerce directory. Check the AA meetings listed in every issue of the Tribune. Get some counseling. You won't have to leave town. And you're among friends.

Paul Azevedo has a new e mail address, thereactor@earthlink.net, and a new website listing, http://home.earthlink.net/~thereactor/