CRAIG
Wait, what of the aliens
with their almond-shaped eyes and their modular ships
what, what of the aliens
with their silvery skin and their - lack of hips?

They resurrect Teddy and creepy Mom,
and recreate their house with the back of their hand
and restart our boooy Pinocchio
and give him one last chance at a one night stand

PAUL
You fool! Those weren't aliens.
They were highly evolved future robot machines
They knew the boy was an ancestral link
To the long vanished human beeeeeings

CRAIG
How the hell was I supposed to know that?

PAUL
It's all explained in the commentary track
They granted his wish after bringing him baaaaack.....
To be seen as a genuine boy by his creeee-py mother.

CRAIG (over Paul's first verse, repeated)
No, I swear they were aliens
They sensed his despair with empathic cognition
Having finished one probing they started another
and res'rected creee-py mother!

CRAIG & PAUL
(looking at each other) Creeee-py mother!
(looking at audience) Creee-py mother!
(to each other, nodding) He wanted love from his creeee-py mother.

[fill in what pleases you.....]

..non-alien super evolved post-human robot machine-generated.
Creeeeeeeeeee-py mother!