It's hard to think that pleasure
can get to be a burden
Your eyes are red, your tongue is raw, and your
head's a hurtin'

If you're gonna live like a lazy ass,
ya got to see it through
You wanna prick up your ears, and come down here, then I'll
run ya through

First you get down on all fours
move your head from side to side
and then you munch just a little bit of grass
until you hit your stride

then you move your tail back and forth,
but don't move it too fast
then you let out a big hee-haw,
and that's how you do the ass

(chor)
what you got to do now (do the ass)
got to (do the ass)
what you got to do now (do the ass)
got to (do the ass)

Now up at UC Berkeley
they call it doin' Equus Asinus
In Pleasure Island 101
That gets a big D-minus
Up in Napa it's doin' the donkey
that doesn't even pass
In Mexico it's the burro
but right here it's the ass
(chor)

Now some folks say an ass
don't like to move they body
but if that's true, just how did they
migrate from the Ma'adi

Now if your ass ain't moving
I got me a little trick
At one end you use a carrot
at the other end you use a stick

(chor)

A-S-S, what's that spell? A-S-S,
A-S-S, what's that spell? A-S-S,
A-S-S, what's that spell? A-S-S

Note: deliberate confusion of "spell" and "smell" is encouraged.