The Story of
RETURN OF THE JEDI
A Musical Emergency


SEPTEMBER 21, 2013
Alameda Eagles Aerie
Alameda, CA

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RETURN OF THE JEDI:
A MUSICAL EMERGENCY


SONG – Awesome Orchestra


Imperial troops stood at attention in the docking bay as Darth Vader emerged from the shuttle. “I am here to put the construction of the new Death Star battle station back on schedule”, Lord Vader said, striking fear into the hearts of the officers assembled for his arrival.


Far away, in a remote desert on the planet Tatooine, the droids C-3P0 and R2-D2 tapped on an enormous iron gate and announced their intention to meet with Jabba the Hutt. The gate lifted to reveal dark passageways guarded by frightening creatures. “Let’s deliver Master Luke’s message and get out of here!” cried C-3P0.

In a large chamber sat the most loathsome creature the droids had ever seen: the monstrous slug criminal known as Jabba the Hutt. The frozen figure of Han Solo was displayed on a nearby wall.

SONG – Craig

R2-D2 bravely approached the ominous figure and projected a hologram. The flickering form of Luke Skywalker spoke.

“I seek an audience with you to bargain for the life of Captain Han Solo. Please accept these two droids as a token of my goodwill.” C-3P0 shuddered in horror.

Jabba laughed. “There will be no bargain,” he said.

With the droids assigned to menial tasks, Jabba’s lurid festivities resumed, to the apparent delight of all present – except for the droids and one guard who, behind his armored mask, bore a strong resemblance to Lando Calrissian.

An explosion rocked the chamber, and in walked a short creature wearing a strange helmet. In one hand, the creature carried a powerful weapon – and with the other, it led a prisoner, the Wookie Chewbacca, bound in chains. C3PO translated the bounty hunter's demands as Jabba negotiated with the creature.

SONG – Brad & Janie

After insults and threats, Jabba and the creature agreed to a price – and Chewbacca was led to a prison cell.

Hours later, the bounty hunter crept back into the silent chamber and approached the figure of Han Solo. Pressing a few buttons, the bounty hunter stepped back to see Captain Solo emerge slowly from his frozen state and collapse to the ground.

“Where am I?” demanded Captain Solo.

“Jabba’s palace,” said the bounty hunter.

“I can’t see!” Solo said.

“Your vision will return in time.”

“Who are you?” asked Captain Solo.

“Someone who loves you,” said the bounty hunter, which then removed its helmet to reveal the face of Princess Leia. The two rebels kissed passionately – until their tender moment was interrupted by an ominous laugh.

A curtain opened to reveal Jabba and his minions. Han Solo was thrown into a prison cell with his friend Chewbacca – while the princess was held in chains.


The heavy gate of Jabba’s palace drew open again, and Luke Skywalker stepped inside, wearing the dark robe of a Jedi knight. He waved his hand before the growling guards, and passed by without confrontation.

In a moment Luke stood before Jabba. “You will bring Captain Solo and the wookie to me,” the Jedi said.

Jabba laughed and bellowed “This boy is using an old Jedi mind-trick!”

Suddenly the floor opened beneath Luke’s feet, and Luke plummeted into a dungeon. From the shadows an enormous monster, the rankor beast, lunged at Luke, seizing him in its gigantic claw. Luke freed himself from the monster’s grip – and throwing a rock, Luke brought a large gate crashing down, killing the creature.

Guards seized Luke. Soon the young Jedi was chained beside his friend Han Solo on a sail barge flying across the desert. Jabba followed in a larger craft, with Princess Leia at his side, bound with a chain and forced to wear the revealing costume of a harem slave.

SONG – Tania

The vehicles stopped before a deep, forbidding pit in the sand lined with teeth – where, it seemed, Luke and Han would meet their fate.

Chained to Jabba’s side, Leia peered out the window at her helpless friends, thinking of all the moments she had shared with Han Solo, and all she had experienced at Jabba’s palace.

SONG – Julia

C-3P0 reluctantly delivered Jabba’s announcement. “The victims of the almighty sarlacc will suffer a terrible slow death. You may now beg for your lives if you wish.”

“Tell Jabba this is his last chance to give up,” replied Luke.

As the tension grew, R2-D2 fired a projectile into the air. Luke slipped off the plank – but instead of plunging to his death, he bounced upwards and landed on the platform. Luke caught the handle of his light sabre, thrown by R2-D2, and activated the weapon as the barge exploded into chaos.

Several guards were sent flying into the sarlaac’s gaping mouth. Lando was knocked from the barge to the sand below, where a long tentacle from the massive creature seized his leg.

Boba Fett's rocket pack lifted the bounty hunter toward Luke, but the young Jedi hacked the attacker's blaster rifle in two. The blinded Han Solo turned toward the sound, slamming a pole into Boba Fett's jet pack and causing it to malfunction. Unceremoniously, the bounty hunter was launched into the Sarlacc pit.

SONG – Mark

At last Han freed Lando from the sarlaac’s grip with a lucky shot from his blaster, and the princess strangled her captor with the chains that bound them together. Together, the rebels fled from the dangers of Tatooine.

Deep in the belly of the Sarlacc, Boba Fett used his jetpack to burn himself free of the tentacles, and with a concussion grenade he blew himself free of the pit, protected by his Mandalorian armor. Thus he became the first person in recorded history to escape from a Sarlaac pit. (It's canon - look it up!)


Aboard a distant starship, Darth Vader knelt as a robed figure stepped from the imperial shuttle. “Bring young Skywalker to me, and we will turn him to the dark side of The Force,” the Emperor demanded.

On the planet Dagobah, Luke greeted his old master Yoda. “I’ve come back to complete my training,” Luke said.

“No more training is required. You must confront Vader.”

“Is it true that Darth Vader is my father?” asked Luke.

“It is true,” said Yoda. Now, twilight is upon me. Forever sleep I will. Luke…there is another Skywalker.” With those words, Yoda lay still in his bed and would speak no more.

As Luke contemplated Yoda’s last words, the glowing figure of Obi-Wan Kenobi stepped out from between the trees. Luke asked his old friend many questions about Yoda’s final words.

“The other Yoda spoke of is your twin sister. If Darth Vader knew of your existence, you would be considered a threat. So you were hidden away – even from one another.”

“Leia!” said Luke, astonished. Overwhelmed by the news, Luke thought of the many exciting moments he had experienced with the princess, and all the adventures that had brought his many friends together.

SONG – Brendan

Soon the rebel alliance was gathered in their secret briefing room to discuss their assault against the empire’s new battle station. Lando Calrissian would fly the Millennium Falcon and command the rebel fleet in the space battle. To lower the station’s protective deflector shield, Han Solo would lead the ground assault to destroy the Empire’s power generator. Luke, Leia and Chewbacca volunteered to join Han and infiltrate the Empire’s defenses on a stolen imperial shuttle.

Soon the rebels approached the planet’s surface. Piloting the Imperial craft, Han asked Imperial command to lower the defense shield. As the rebels waited to see if their stolen clearance code might fool the Imperial officers, Luke was gripped by a strange feeling. Darth Vader was on board the Imperial ship – and he knew of Luke’s presence.

SONG – Maggie, Steve & Kevin

Despite Luke’s histrionics, the shuttle was allowed to proceed through the shield to the planet’s surface below.

Hidden within a dense redwood forest, the rebels observed several Imperial troops guarding the bunker entrance. When Han crept up on the group, a snapping twig alerted them to his presence, and the fight began. When two troops sped away on Imperial speeder bikes, Leia and Luke leapt upon one as well. Luke made a daring jump onto one of the trooper’s vehicles, and he and Leia pursued the troops in different directions. When the noise of the engines had stopped, the troops had met with fiery crashes – but Han and Luke feared the worst when Leia did not return.

Thrown to the ground during the chase, Leia looked up to see a small furry creature, an Ewok, threatening her with a wooden spear. Offering a snack, Leia quickly befriended the Ewok – just as blaster fire sent them both ducking below a fallen tree. A stormtrooper emerged and threatened Leia with his blaster – but when the ewok surprised the soldier, Leia fought back, seizing her opponent’s weapon.

On board the Imperial ship, Darth Vader confronted The Emperor. “My son is with the rebels.”

“He will come for you. When he does, bring him to me,” said The Emperor.


Back on Endor, Chewbacca’s powerful instincts led him to a strange animal carcass hanging from a tree – but when he stepped closer to investigate, the entire group was swept upwards, trapped in a net. Upon freeing themselves, they found themselves surrounded by dozens of ferocious ewoks with weapons raised.

When C-3P0 stood to view their captors, the ewoks bowed in reverence. The droid explained that the ewoks had taken him to be a Golden God – and Han Solo would be served as the main course at a feast honoring their new deity.

When the ewoks bound the rebels and carried them back to their forest village, the prisoners were greeted by Princess Leia, who had taken up residence with the natives. Despite the ewoks’s affection for Leia and their worship of C-3P0, however, the small creatures refused to set free their captives: Han, Luke and Chewbacca.

Luke instructed C-3P0: “Tell them that if they don’t untie us, you’ll grow angry and use your magic.”

C-3P0 knew he must command the ewoks to set his friends free - yet threatening any creature was against his programming. Could C-3P0 convince these wild creatures that he was powerful and angry?

The droid searched his memory banks, calling up every moment of conflict, betrayal, rejection, humiliation and abuse that he’d suffered in his long robotic life. C-3P0 had not thought about many of these experiences in a very long time – yet as the droid recalled them, he began to tremble with fury. In his most commanding voice, C-3P0 addressed the ewoks, telling them (and all present) of his awesome power and the terrible wrath that would result from any disrespect shown to him.

SONG – Martin

As C-3P0 raised his metallic voice, the droid began to fly into the air. Luke used the power of his mind to lift the droid and several nearby objects into a terrifying display that quickly won over the ewoks. Soon the furry creatures had welcomed the rebels into the tribe.

That evening, Luke spoke privately with Leia. Quietly, he told the princess what he had learned – that they were brother and sister, and that Darth Vader was their father. “That’s why I must confront him. I know there is good in him. He’ll never give me over to the Emperor,” Luke said.

Some distance away, Darth Vader’s ship landed on the planet’s surface. A rebel had surrendered to the imperial forces – and Darth Vader recognized the young prisoner as his own son.

SONG – jD

“I know there is good in you,” said Luke.

“You don’t know the power of the dark side. I must obey my master,” said Vader, as two Imperial guards led Luke away.


In The Emperor’s chamber, Luke looked upon the face of pure evil. “Welcome, young Skywalker,” hissed The Emperor. “In time, you will call me master.”

“You’re mistaken,” said Luke.

“It is you who are mistaken,” said The Emperor. “Your rebel fleet’s attack will fail. They will discover that this battle station is already quite operational.”

On the surface of Endor, the door of the Imperial bunker burst open, and in rushed Han Solo and his team – yet their victory was short-lived. Imperial troops stormed the room, and soon Han Solo was a prisoner again.

Rocketing toward the orbiting space station on board the Millennium Falcon, Lando was astonished to find his sensor transmissions jammed. Why would the Empire jam his transmissions unless – unless the attack was not a surprise after all?

“Break off the attack! The shield is still up!” Lando commanded.

SONG – Paul

Luke Skywalker watched from The Emperor’s chamber as the terrible battle raged in the distance. “Soon you will witness the end of your insignificant rebellion,” hissed The Emperor.

Luke turned his eyes to his light saber, which lay at The Emperor’s side. “Yes – give in to your anger,” said The Emperor, “and you will become my servant!”

Back on Endor, Han Solo and his team were escorted out of the bunker by armed troops. Dozens of Imperial soldiers awaited them, with more rebels already held prisoner.

Yet the familiar voice of C-3P0 cried out nearby. A squad of stormtroopers rushed over to seize the droid – only to be taken by surprise when ewoks swarmed from the forest.

SONG – Kevin, Maggie, Steve & Tania

The small, furry creatures launched arrows and flung rocks by the thousands at the panicking stormtroopers.


“Your friends have failed!” said The Emperor to Luke. “Now witness the firepower of the fully operational battle station!” In desperation, Luke reached out his hand – and caught his weapon as it flew into his grip.

“The alliance will die,” The Emperor hissed at Luke. “I can feel your anger! Take your weapon and strike me down – and your journey toward the dark side will be complete!”


Using a stolen Imperial walker, Han Solo and his team fooled the stormtroopers into opening the bunker doors. Soon their explosives were in place – and in a moment, the force field generator collapsed in a fiery explosion.


Luke and Darth Vader fought savagely, yet The Emperor remained calm. “Use your aggressive feelings, boy!” The Emperor said.

Luke withdrew his lightsaber. “Your thoughts betray you, father,” said Luke. “I feel the good in you!”

“If you will not fight,” said Vader, “then you will meet your destiny!”

SONG – Deb & David

Darth Vader pursued Luke through the dark corridors. “Your thoughts betray you,” Vader said. “I sense your feelings for…sister! You have a sister! If you won’t join me…perhaps she will!”

Luke felt his rage explode as he swung his saber at the dark lord.

Luke fought boldly, hacking off Darth Vader’s hand. Yet The Emperor only laughed. “Good! Now finish him off – and take your father’s place at my side!”

Yet Luke threw down his weapon. “I’ll never join you. I’m a Jedi – like my father before me!”

SONG – Jay & Evan

“If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed.” The Emperor lifted his hands and released a burst of lightning from his fingertips.

Luke collapsed and writhed in agony. “Father, help me!” he cried.

Darth Vader turned his gaze from the young Jedi to the cruel Emperor.

SONG – Steve, Kevin, Maggie

Luke watched in wonder as Darth Vader lifted the helpless Emperor and threw him deep into the air shaft below, where the old wizard perished in a blinding flash.

As the space battle raged outside, Luke dragged his ailing father toward the docking bay. “Help me take this mask off,” said Darth Vader. “Let me gaze on you with my own eyes.” Luke helped the dying man to remove his breathing apparatus and, for the first time, the young Jedi’s eyes met with those of his father. “Tell your sister…you were right,” the elder Skywalker said.


The rebels rejoiced as the Death Star’s defense shield fell. Lando led the fleet into the space station’s narrow passage, where a few precise cannon shots destroyed the core generator. The rebel ships raced to safety just as a cataclysmic explosion destroyed the station.

On the surface of Endor, Han could not celebrate. He knew something was going on between Leia and Luke. Han confronted Leia, offering to step aside, but...

SONG – Aletha

Luke lit a funeral pyre to burn Darth Vader’s body. The ewoks celebrated with dance and song as Luke joined Han, Leia and the others. Yet when he looked back for a moment into the woods, Luke was comforted to see, gazing upon the happy proceedings, the shimmering forms of Yoda, Ben Kenobi, and Annakin Skywalker, old friends together once again.

SONG – Awesome Orchestra & Chorus



THE END



All songs and recordings for this show will be copyright 2013 by their respective performers.
All rights are reserved.